Ask Mom Mom: Facebook Etiquette

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More than one person has asked me to weigh in on the subject of Facebook etiquette, and I am happy to oblige. Sometimes when I’m on Facebook, it seems like otherwise decent people have completely forgotten their manners and common sense. Here are a few gentle reminders:

1. Don’t say anything on Facebook that you wouldn’t say to your boss’s wife/husband at a company Christmas party. Acceptable Status: Whew, this weekend flew by! Back to work in just 12 short hours. Unacceptable Status: I hate my job and all of the idiots I work with, ESPECIALLY my stupid moron boss!!!! If you keep this simple “boss’s wife” principle in mind, 99% of all your Facebook problems will be solved.

2. NO POLITICS. If you must speak of politics, speak of actual ideas you believe in and can intelligently support for valid reasons, not ugly partisan bashing or cheap political jokes. Good ideas have no political affiliation. Unless you are 100% sure of the political persuasion of each and every one of your 325 friends, keep your mouth shut. Would you tell that joke to your boss’s wife or husband? Would you tell that joke at a cocktail party? No? Then I don’t want to hear it, either.

3. Keep the pictures tasteful. I think it’s really super that you lost 65 pounds since last summer, but you’re a mother of three who is over the age of eighteen, and I really don’t want to see you in your bikini posing in your kitchen. You’re just embarrassing yourself.

4. No Vaguebooking. Just in case you’re unclear, here is a vaguebooking status: I can’t believe what happened today. Unbelievable! I am totally devastated. Then when fifteen well-meaning friends ask, “Are you okay? What happened?” the response is always, “Oh, I can’t talk about it.” Really? Because you just did. And now you’re annoying me.

5. No dirty laundry, no profanity. Don’t talk about your rotten ex. Don’t talk about your slutty neighbor. Or your cheating husband. Keep it classy, people. It’s not cool or funny to call people gay or retarded. If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it on Facebook.

6. No excessive bragging. Yes, I do enjoy seeing your vacation pictures. No, I don’t want to hear about your husband’s giant bonus. Yes, I want to hear your kids are doing well in school and in sports. No, I am not interested in your child’s “very superior” IQ. There is a line of good taste. Figure it out, then don’t cross it.

7. For God’s sake, wish your friends a Happy Birthday! I realize Facebook has taken the definition of “friend” and stretched it beyond any recognition, but here’s the deal: If we are Facebook friends, and you are active on Facebook and can’t even manage to wish me a Happy Birthday by typing two stinkin’ words? Then we are not really friends.

All My Cookbooks

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As I mentioned back in my Caesar Salad post, my first cookbook was The New York Times Cookbook, a mighty doorstop-sized tome. I was about 22 when I bought it, and I immediately knew I was in over my head. I could only tackle the simplest of recipes (I believe cucumber salad was my first victory, and even that was a challenge). Mostly I would just refer to it casually in conversation, you know, like, “My New York Times Cookbook says the right figs make all the difference.” I am sure everyone was quite impressed.

My second cookbook was a complete 180. Bob Blumer’s The Surreal Gourmet was filled with recipes and language I could easily understand, and it provided me with the Caesar salad recipe I still use to this day. I’m pretty sure I made every single thing in that book. It was my own Julie and Julia (Dawn and Bob), minus the fame and fortune and advanced skill level.

We got married in 1993, back when Prodigy was everyone’s internet server of choice. There was no Google, and Food Network was still in its infancy. In other words, cookbooks were still relevant. And boy, did I love them. My cookbook collection grew exponentially each year. I dreamed of a kitchen with a dedicated cookbook shelf to display all of my babies.

One day while looking through the Pottery Barn catalog, I saw black ledges hung on a kitchen wall displaying cookbooks, sort of like artwork. I had a big, blank space on my kitchen wall, and I just knew it was meant to be filled with my cookbooks. The problem was that many of my favorite cookbooks were rather well-loved, Velveteen Rabbit style: ripped, food stained, and generally disgusting. Definitely not artwork. I had a few acceptable, non-disgusting cookbooks, but not enough to fill a wall, so I went online and ordered a vast array of bargain cookbooks based solely on their size, shape and cover art, and these served to fill in the blank spaces. I thought I was quite clever.

The problem was that the Pottery Barn ledges were ridiculously expensive, considering it was a simple black painted piece of wood, and probably cheap wood at that. Ed jumped in with the words I hear quite often, “Oh, I can make that!” And he’s right, the man can make anything. ANYTHING. We’ve all heard of the time value of money, but what about the money value of time? This is my number one rebuttal to Ed’s, “Oh, I can make that!” We compromised and bought the cheap Target knock-offs. Let me share with you just a couple of the horrible reviews of these ledges:

This shelf is flawed in design; the mounting structure does not lie flush with the actual shelf, and the shelf overhangs by about 2 millimeters– doesn’t sound like a lot, but IT WILL KEEP THE SHELF FROM EVER HANGING ON YOUR WALL. However, before you realize this, you’ll have dug several holes in your wall– or six, precisely, if you’re me. And then you’ll find that for all your hard work, painstaking leveling, perfect placement…. [……] wall shelf will NOT CONNECT WITH THE MOUNTING BAR. DO NOT BUY THIS. TARGET: YOU OWE ME A NEW WALL. MINE IS MARRED BECAUSE I TRUSTED YOU. MAKE THIS RIGHT

and

DO NOT BUY THIS SHELF. I work in contracting and never saw such a poorly made piece of [junk] in my life. This is by far, the worst buy I have ever had from target. The directions are incomplete and inaccurate and the bracket and shelf will never come together, despite your best efforts. Wasted [$$] on two of these things. TARGET PLEASE DISCONTINUE THIS PRODUCT.

But thank God I am married to Superman; not only can he build anything, he can also FIX anything. Needless to say, he had his work cut out for him. He was right, he definitely should have just built them from the get-go. Sometimes I’m wrong.

I have not purchased a cookbook for several years, thank you, Internet, but I still do appreciate a good cookbook. My cousin Linda recently recommended a fun, quirky, retro book called Square Meals by Jane and Michael Stern, and it’s a must for any cookbook collector. Cousin Linda says the kugel recipe is fabulous, and once I’m done de-carbifying, I plan to try it. The recipes — many of which contain gelatin — are both hilarious and historically accurate. All I know is that Square Meals will be an invaluable reference for me when I host my next Mad Men party.

These days, the cookbook has to be pretty special for me to consider it, but I do hope to add to my collection over the years. If there is any “must have” cookbook in your collection, please let me know. There is always room on the shelf for one more.

The Pioneers of Chester County: Chicken Tortilla Soup

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My friend had the great idea of reuniting our limoncello crew to make something a little more family friendly, and I was all for it! We decided to go with a soup, and The Pioneer Woman’s Chicken Tortilla Soup seemed to get high marks based on the almost 500 comments on her blog. Not jealous. Really, I’m not. She’s great. But if you want to make any comments here, I sure wouldn’t mind…

We gathered in my friend’s beautiful kitchen, pots in hand, and got to work tripling the recipe. Can you believe I’ve never had chicken tortilla soup? Or ANY tortilla soup? I am always amazed at how little I know about the world.

Three pots for three friends

Picking apart boneless chicken, just like Laura Ingalls Wilder

Beans and Rotel

The final, delicious product.

The verdict: I am calling this soup a success. There were a grand total of fifteen of us who ate this soup for dinner tonight. All three of the husbands loveloveloved it. All three of us pioneer women of Chester County loved it, too. Three children liked it well enough. Two children cried about it. One picky eater ate a small amount. And two boys were too busy with sports to try it as of this publishing, but my prediction is that they will like it. While the soup is very flavorful (one of my son’s called it a burrito in a bowl), I think the toppings really make it shine. Cilantro is a must (unless you think it tastes like soap) and cheese and sour cream and avocado, too.

The Pioneer Woman’s Chicken Tortilla Soup (original printable recipe here)

Ingredients

  • 2 whole Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
  • 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
  • 1-½ teaspoon Cumin
  • 1 teaspoon Chili Powder
  • ½ teaspoons Garlic Powder
  • ½ teaspoons Salt
  • 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
  • 1 cup Diced Onion
  • ¼ cups Diced Green Bell Pepper
  • ¼ cups Red Bell Pepper
  • 3 cloves Garlic, Minced
  • 1 can (10 Oz. Can) Rotel Tomatoes And Green Chilies
  • 32 ounces, fluid Low Sodium Chicken Stock
  • 3 Tablespoons Tomato Paste
  • 4 cups Hot Water
  • 2 cans (15 Oz. Can) Black Beans, Drained
  • 3 Tablespoons Cornmeal Or Masa
  • 5 whole Corn Tortillas, Cut Into Uniform Strips Around 2 To 3 Inches
  • _____
  • FOR THE GARNISHES:
  • Sour Cream
  • Diced Avocado
  • Diced Red Onion
  • Salsa Or Pico De Gallo
  • Grated Monterey Jack Cheese
  • Cilantro

Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix cumin, chili pepper, garlic powder, and salt. Drizzle 1 tablespoon olive oil on chicken breasts, then sprinkle a small amount of spice mix on both sides. Set aside the rest of the spice mix.

Place chicken breasts on a baking sheet. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until chicken is done. Use two forks to shred chicken. Set aside.

Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a pot over medium high heat. Add onions, red pepper, green pepper, and minced garlic. Stir and begin cooking, then add the rest of the spice mix. Stir to combine, then add shredded chicken and stir.

Pour in Rotel, chicken stock, tomato paste, water, and black beans. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Simmer for 45 minutes, uncovered.

Mix cornmeal with a small amount of water. Pour into the soup, then simmer for an additional 30 minutes. Check seasonings, adding more if needed—add more chili powder if it needs more spice, and be sure not to undersalt. Turn off heat and allow to sit for 15 to 20 minutes before serving. Five minutes before serving, gently stir in tortilla strips.

Ladle into bowls, then top with sour cream, diced red onion, diced avocado, pico de gallo, and grated cheese, if you have it! (The garnishes really make the soup delicious.)


Moosewood’s Fragrant Rice Noodles with Vegetables

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We decided a few weeks ago that on Mondays we would serve a vegetarian dinner and call it Vegetable Monday. I am sure our 30+ days of high calorie, nutritionally-void holiday food and tight jeans may have inspired this grand proclamation, but I’m kind of digging it. This replaces our once popular Pizza Monday, so you can imagine how the kids feel about this. They probably refer to it as Arsenic Monday behind our backs.

This comes from one of my favorite cookbooks, Moosewood Restaurant Cooks at Home. I am modifying it a bit tonight for our meal, but I will share the original version first, and then my adjustments. My kids like broccoli and peppers, so I threw them in there. They also like rice instead of rice noodles. And, oh, did I mention they won’t eat the sauce? Basically, I’m just making this for Ed and myself.

Don’t be put off by the name. “Fragrant” somehow doesn’t feel like a good food word to me, although it is certainly evocative. Fragrant is too close to fragrance (i.e. perfume or Glade air freshener), and that’s not something I want in my food. Plus, this is peanut based, but you’d never know it from the name, would you?

This sauce is a winner. I always double it, since Ed prefers his food drowning in sauce, but I seriously don’t suggest doing that unless you have sauce addiction issues like my husband. I also like to add a bit of crushed red pepper for some heat, just a 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon. As you can see below, we used two different blends of veggies (Vegetable Monday, was I lying?). I love this recipe with rice noodles or pasta, but it works equally well with plain old rice, too.

Moosewood’s Fragrant Rice Noodles with Vegetables

Ingredients

1 1/2 quarts water
SAUCE
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 tablespoon freshly grated lime peel
1/2 cup peanut butter (preferably smooth)
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1 cup vegetable stock
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
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Noodles and Veggies (feel free to add or subtract to taste):
6 ounces 1/4-inch-wide rice noodles (or linguini if rice noodles are unavailable)
2 leeks, well rinsed
2 small zucchini
2 small yellow squash
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 cup water
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Directions:
In a covered pot, bring the water to a rapid boil. Combine the sauce ingredients and mix them by hand or puree them in a blender until smooth. When the water boils, add the noodles and cook for 3 to 5 minutes, until just tender. Drain, rinse briefly under cool water, drain again, and set aside.
Cut the leeks, zucchini, and yellow squash into sticks 5 to 6 inches long and 1/4 to 1/2 inch wide. Heat the oil in a wok or large skillet. Stir-fry the leek sticks on medium-high heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Add the zucchini and yellow squash and continue to stir-fry for about 3 to 4 minutes, until the vegetables are just tender. To prevent scorching or sticking, add about 1/4 cup water while stir-frying. Add the noodles (or pasta) and the sauce and toss well until heated through. Serve at once.

Chicken Corn Chowder

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One of my favorite food blogs which I recently discovered is Growling Tummy. As soon as I saw this recipe for Chicken Corn Chowder, I knew it had high potential. And I was right! Four out of five family members loved it (even Mr. Picky), and the only one who didn’t finish it practically fell asleep in his soup due to a very fun sleepover birthday party at the Great Wolf Lodge…so I am not blaming the recipe! Ed said it reminded him a bit of the soup version of chicken pot pie, and I agree. The jalapeno gave it a wonderful kick, and the roasted red pepper added nice color and flavor. I used a rotisserie chicken, too, which made this soup incredibly quick and easy to prepare (albeit a bit pricier). I will definitely be making this again!

Growling Tummy’s Chicken Corn Chowder

Ingredients:

  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 1/2 cup chopped onion
  • 1/2 cup chopped celery
  • 2 medium potatoes, chopped
  • 1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and minced
  • 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 3 cups reduced-fat milk
  • 2 cups reduced sodium chicken broth
  • 2 cups chopped roasted skinless, boneless chicken breasts, rotisserie chicken works great here (vegetarians can omit the chicken and its still a great chowder)
  • 1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels (about 3 ears, but you can use frozen)
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper
  • salt to taste
  • 2 roasted red peppers from a jar, chopped
  • 1 (14 3/4-ounce) can cream-style corn

How To:

Melt the butter in a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onion, celery, potato and jalapeño and cook for 3 minutes or until tender, stirring frequently. Add flour; cook for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Stir in milk and remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil and cook until thick (about 5 minutes). Reduce heat and serve (biscuits work great as a compliment).

Bagels and Butter

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We are lucky to have good bagels around here. Our local bagel store used to be owned by a woman who I called the “Bagel B____ (rhymes with witch),” or BB, for short. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who called her that. God, she was vile. I worked with NYSE floor traders who had more patience than this woman. And I was (for the most part) a very good, very efficient bagel orderer.  99% of the time I knew exactly what I wanted and spoke in a clear, concise fashion with no dilly dallying, and she was still miserable and rude. Fortunately, a much nicer man has since bought the store, and I am now safe to modify my order without BB’s scorn.

I am so very proud of myself. Yesterday I made bagels for the first time and homemade butter for the second time. Both were surprisingly easy. Luisa, my favorite food blogger at The Wednesday Chef, shared Peter Reinhart’s Amazing and Almost Idiot-Proof Recipe, and I was inspired to try myself. Assuming I can keep up with a good workout schedule, I am thinking of making bagels weekly. Or, at least, monthly. In any event, they are so good that I am already dreaming of next time.

The butter I made on a whim, after reading an article in Fancy Fine Cooking. I just felt like my special bagels deserved good butter. Plus, I’m kind of a show-off.

Two pieces of advice: DOUBLE THIS RECIPE! I made seven bagels, and in retrospect, I wish I would have made six larger ones instead. Twelve decent sized bagels instead of seven smaller ones would have been perfect. And start this recipe ONE DAY BEFORE you want to eat bagels (see step 7: refrigerate overnight).

Bagels, The Los Angeles Times, November 12, 2008

Total time: 1 hour, 15 minutes plus chilling, rising and cooling time for the dough and bagels

Servings: 6 to 8 bagels

Note: Barley malt, also known as barley malt syrup, is generally available at health food stores including Erewhon Natural Foods in Los Angeles and Granny’s Pantry in Pasadena, as well as at most Whole Foods Market stores. Instant yeast is generally available at cooking and baking supply stores. Despite the short work time, this recipe takes two days to make because of the rising time. If you make more than 6 bagels, you may need to prepare 2 baking sheets. Toppings can include poppy or sesame seeds, coarse salt, dehydrated onion or garlic bits that have been soaked, and cinnamon sugar.

3 1/2 cups (1 pound) unbleached bread flour

3 teaspoons salt, divided

3/4 teaspoon instant yeast

1 tablespoon barley malt syrup (or honey)

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons water

1 teaspoon baking soda

Toppings as desired

1. In the bowl of an electric mixer or food processor or by hand, mix the flour, 2 teaspoons salt, the yeast, barley malt syrup and 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons water until the ingredients form a stiff, coarse ball of dough (about 3 minutes if mixing by hand or in a mixer; or 1 minute in a food processor). If necessary, add a little more water. Let the dough rest 5 minutes.

2. Knead the dough on a lightly floured surface until the dough feels stiff yet supple, with a satiny, slightly tacky feel, 2 to 3 minutes. If the dough seems too soft or too tacky, sprinkle over just enough flour as needed.

3. Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl, cover tightly with plastic wrap, and place it in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour and up to several hours. Keep in mind that the bagels must be shaped before proofing overnight.

4. When ready to shape the bagels, line a baking sheet with lightly greased parchment paper or a silicone baking mat.

5. Remove the dough from the refrigerator and divide it into 6 to 8 equal pieces. Form each piece into a loose, round ball by rolling it on a clean, dry work surface with a cupped hand; do not use any flour on the surface. If the dough slides around and won’t ball up, wipe the work surface with a damp paper towel and try again — the slight amount of moisture will provide enough “bite” for the dough to form a ball. When each piece has been formed into a ball, you are ready to shape the bagels.

6. Using your hands and a fair amount of pressure, roll each dough ball into a “rope” 8 to 10 inches long. (Moisten the work surface with a damp paper towel, if necessary, to get the necessary bite or friction). Slightly taper the rope at the ends so that they are thinner than the middle. Place one end of the dough between your thumb and forefinger and wrap it around your hand until the ends overlap in your palm; they should overlap by about 2 inches. Squeeze the overlapping ends together and then press the joined ends into the work surface, rolling them back and forth a few times until they are completely sealed.

7. Remove the dough from your hand and squeeze as necessary to even out the thickness so that there is a 2-inch hole in the center. Place the bagel on the prepared sheet pan. Repeat with the other pieces. Lightly wipe the bagels with oil, cover with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator overnight.

8. Remove the bagels from the refrigerator 90 minutes before you plan to bake them. Fill a large stockpot with 3 quarts of water (be sure the water is at least 4 inches deep), cover with a lid, and slowly bring the water to a boil. When it comes to a boil, add the remaining teaspoon of salt and 1 teaspoon of baking soda, reduce the heat and simmer with the lid on.

9. Thirty minutes before baking, heat the oven to 500 degrees.

10. Test the bagels by placing one in a bowl of cold water. If it sinks and doesn’t float to the surface, return it to the sheet, wait 15 minutes and then test it again. When one bagel passes the float test, they are ready for the pot.

11. Gently lift each bagel and drop it into the simmering water. Add as many as will comfortably fit in the pot. After 1 minute, use a slotted spoon to flip each bagel over. Poach for an extra 30 seconds. Using the slotted spoon, remove each bagel and return it to the lined baking sheet. Continue until all the bagels have been poached. Generously sprinkle each bagel with a topping, except for cinnamon sugar (see note below).

12. Place the baking sheet in the oven and reduce the heat to 450 degrees. Bake for 8 minutes and then rotate the sheet (if using two sheets, also switch their positions). Check the underside of the bagels. If they are getting too dark, place another sheet under the baking sheet (i.e., double-pan it). Bake until the bagels are golden brown, an additional 8 to 12 minutes. Remove from the oven and transfer the bagels to a rack for at least 30 minutes before serving.

Note: If using cinnamon sugar (1 part cinnamon to 5 parts granulated sugar), immediately brush the top of each hot bagel with melted butter and then generously sprinkle with the mixture so that it is coated. It will form a nice cinnamon crust as it cools.

Each of 8 servings: 226 calories; 7 grams protein; 46 grams carbohydrates; 2 grams fiber; 1 gram fat; 0 saturated fat; 0 cholesterol; 1,031 mg. sodium.

Step 3, the dough ball

Step 6, formed in O shape

Step 12, hot out of the oven

Homemade Butter by Daniel Leader, Fine Cooking, December 2011

Ingredients

Heavy Cream

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

In a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whip 2 cups of heavy cream on medium speed until medium peaks form, about 3 minutes. Put a splatter guard on the bowl or drape a kitchen towel over the mixer and the bowl. Increase the speed to high and continue whipping until the solids separate from the buttermilk (you will hear sloshing), about 8 minutes.

Gather the butter into a ball and put it in a strainer. Rinse under cold water, squeezing with your hands, until the water runs clear, about 1 minute. Knead in 1/4 tsp. sea or kosher salt and shape the butter as you like. Pat it dry with a paper towel, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for up to a month.

Notes from Dawn: This is obviously super easy as long as you have a heavy duty mixer. 8 minutes is a long time to run a mixer not equipped for such work, so make sure your mixer is up to this task. It is also quite a mess. TOTALLY worth it, but be prepared to clean up a bit.

You’re probably thinking the picture below is not such a mess and I must be a total princess. Oh, you just wait! This is only the first part where it’s still glorified whipped cream.

Okay, was I lying? Isn’t that awful?

But the final product is so delicious and the perfect accompaniment to fresh baked bagels or bread. Voila!

My Easiest Recipe Yet: Hot Water in a Mug

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Around 2 pm yesterday, I was so cold I could hardly stand it. The weather has been wacky here in the Northeast: unseasonably warm, then cold, then warm again, then REALLY cold. I think the fluctuation has made it seem colder than it actually is. I’m not normally one to yammer on about the weather; just setting up the story here.

A less lazy person would have found a sweater or turned up the heat, but not me. I suddenly had a memory of Mom Mom drinking hot water. Just plain hot water. Even as a child, that seemed…I don’t know? Odd? Wrong? Icky? “Depression Era” wasn’t in my vocabulary back then, although I suppose a part of me felt like drinking plain hot water with nothing else in it was probably a poor person’s drink.

But it was 2:00 pm and coffee was out of the question for me. Tea didn’t sound good, either, since I am trying to cut back on sugar. So that left me with the obvious choice: Hot water, straight up, Mom Mom style! I heated up my electric tea kettle and poured the water into one of my rarely used (but oh so cute) Fiestaware tea cups. The hot water instantly warmed me. Not only did it warm me, it soothed me. It felt good. It felt right. I should have known Mom Mom knew what she was doing.

Mom Mom wasn’t a doctor, but she was certainly ahead of her time when it came to alternative health practices, and most of her information was from AM talk-radio show doctors she listened to religiously. She and Pop Pop took vitamins and supplements years before anyone else I knew. I can still picture all the vitamins lined up like little soldiers at her kitchen table: small ones, big ones, clear ones, dark ones…so, so many!

I hesitate to repeat any medical claims, but if you Google “benefits of drinking hot water,” you will find dozens of reasons to give this a try. It is important to note that you should never drink hot water straight from the tap, as it is not properly purified. Boil the water first, and then enjoy. If nothing else, it’s a nice post-holiday detox. This is only my second day, so I can’t share any life-changing claims just yet, but I promise to keep you posted on any progress worth noting.

Mom Mom’s Health Drink

Ingredients:

Water

Directions:

Bring to full boil. Enjoy in a mug or cute tea cup.

To Friendship (and Fondue)

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Happy New Year! May 2012 be filled with love, happiness, good health, good food, good friends and prosperity.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give us a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

–Auld Lang Syne, Robert Burns

I have always loved traditions, and I am so fortunate to have a very special New Year’s Eve tradition: Dinner with the same two couples every year since the early 1990s. In a world where so much has changed, six friends have kept a commitment to spend New Year’s Eve together for eighteen years, give or take a couple here and there. We could be an HBO series about stable, married people, if there was ever a market for such a thing.

Back in his grad school days, Ed had the good sense to befriend a couple guys who married women I truly liked as real friends, not just husband friends. When it comes to friendship, I am more of a cat than a dog. I usually don’t instantly love everyone I meet. (Ed, on the other hand, is a dog, a friendly Golden Retriever, happy and loving to all. I am a scrappy stray cat who thinks she belongs on a Fancy Feast commercial). It’s not you, it’s me, and simply my reserved nature which I’ve come to accept it over the years. No hard feelings.

So while I may not have tons and tons of friends, I fiercely treasure the friends I have. Like my mother, I am loyal to those I love, and loyal people have friends for life. The funny thing about my NYE friends is that we really don’t see each other all that much throughout the year. Lunch and a party or two, but definitely not weekly or even monthly. However, I know I could call or text either one of them at any time, and they would be there for me in a heartbeat. They are both prettier, smarter, thinner, better mothers and better human beings than me, but instead of feeling threatened and perhaps a wee bit bitchy like I normally would with anyone else, I only feel admiration instead. If that’s not true friendship, I don’t know what is. Just being around them a few times a year rubs off some goodness by osmosis, and then I’m set for the next few months.

As you can imagine, we have shared some memorable meals over the years. My friends always set the bar high, so it’s a little harrowing whenever it is our turn to host. For the second (third?) time, I will be playing the sushi and appetizer card. We all enjoy sushi, and who doesn’t love a meal comprised entirely of appetizers? If I ply everyone with enough wine and limoncello, I might once again convince them to play my favorite game, Balderdash. We will talk about our children and our parents and our jobs (and my lack of a real job) and our household projects and kids today. We will forget for a few minutes we have nine children between the six of us, three a piece, and reminisce about the good old days when we were young and just starting out our lives. We will eat too much and drink too much and vow to see each other more often next year, and then I will go to bed overwhelmed, once again, by my good fortune to be surrounded by such wonderful people on the last day of another good year.

Even if we are occupied with important things and even if we attain honor or fall into misfortune, still let us remember how good it once was here, when we were all together, united by a good and kind feeling which made us perhaps better than we are. – Fyodor Dostovevsky

To all of those I call my friend, thank you.

Edited Jan 1, 2012:

As always, we had a wonderful night of laughter and friendship. I nodded off for a few minutes between 11 and 12 (surprising absolutely no one who knows me), but I was awake in time to ring in the New Year.

My friends make the best fondue I have ever tasted, and we demand it each and every year. Lucky for you, they left behind the recipe. I know fondue recipes are a dime a dozen, but I cannot speak highly enough about this fondue. Seriously, THE best, ever. There is no better end to a good year than dipping things in cheese.

Classic Cheese Fondue by Ryan Hardy, Food & Wine

Ingredients

  1. 1 pound Gruyère cheese, coarsely shredded
  2. 1/2 pound Emmentaler cheese, coarsely shredded
  3. 1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
  4. 1 garlic clove
  5. 1 cup dry white wine
  6. 1 tablespoon Kirsch
  7. Salt and freshly ground white pepper
  8. Crusty bread cubes, hard salami and small dill pickles, for serving.

DIRECTIONS:

  1. In a bowl, toss the Gruyère and Emmentaler with the cornstarch. Rub the inside of a cheese fondue pot or medium, enameled cast-iron casserole with the garlic, then add the wine and bring to a simmer. Add the cheese mixture all at once. Using a wooden spoon, stir over moderately low heat just until the cheese is melted and smooth, about 5 minutes. Stir in the Kirsch and season with salt and pepper. Serve with the bread, salami and pickles.
Make Ahead The fondue can be refrigerated overnight and reheated in a microwave oven, or on the stove over low heat.

 

 

 

 

Kim’s Original Jingle Balls (AKA Cake Pops)

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Back in 2001, my friend Kim (that perfect sort of mother who eventually drives most of us mere mortals into therapy with her reindeer food at Christmas and sparkly coins from the tooth fairy — you know the type, right?) was on a website devoted to preschool crafts and age appropriate holiday ideas, and she discovered a recipe that admittedly sounded pretty gross: cake balls. I do believe we all had a good laugh about it. A hot cake smushed together with store bought frosting and then dipped in melted chocolate? What exactly was the thought process that went into creating that? Was this lady seriously PMSing and madly rifling through her pantry in search of something — anything! — to dip into chocolate? Or was she an evil genius? We will never know.

But the recipe haunted Kim, and the following Christmas she did some experimentation. After some trial and error, she shared her technique with her friends. And when we got done laughing, we discovered these things are actually quite good. If you’ve kept up with this story, you have figured out it was 2002 when we christened Kim’s Jingle Balls. 2002! Nine years ago! It took me a couple more years to try them myself, being a bit of a boxed-cake and fake-frosting snob, but I eventually came around. Kim never steers us wrong in the domestic arts.

When last week my friend innocently mentioned that she was buying her daughter a Cake Pop making kit, let’s just say I gave her a look. And my look concerned her a bit. I was trying not to succumb to Cake Pop Rage, but it’s hard when you see the commercialization of a homespun recipe you’ve been making for years. No, I don’t hate America or capitalism. This is probably more of a simple case of, “Hey, world, I’ve been doing this first! Look at me! I’m so special!” I do concede putting a stick in your cake ball and making it a cake pop complete with cutesy-poo decorations is a winning idea.

I realize that the rest of the world has now jumped onto The Good Ship Cake Pop, and you can easily find whole websites and cookbooks devoted to this multimillion dollar industry craft. However, I will share with you my way to make these, the original Kim way. I always tell people these are not so much difficult as they are messy and labor intensive.

My friend Deana calls these high class Little Debbies. I call them hillbilly truffles. Whatever you call them, they are delicious and always a hit.

Kim’s Original Jingle Balls

One cake of your choice (I use chocolate)

One jar of frosting of your choice (I use vanilla)

Chocolate chips or chocolate discs for melting (about 1 1/2 regular sized bags of chocolate chips)

Bake the cake in a 13 x 9 inch pan per package directions. When cake comes out of oven, mix in entire jar of frosting while still hot. It will look like a mess. Chill until firm, about one hour. Roll the cake/icing mixture into small balls. Freeze the balls for at least an hour, preferably longer.

Melt about half a bag of chocolate chips in the microwave. Using two forks, dip the balls in chocolate and place on a rimmed cookie sheet lined with waxed paper. After dipping three or four balls, add sprinkles or decorations before the chocolate dries. After about ten cake balls, wash and dry your bowl and melt another half bag of chocolate chips. You may have to repeat this three or four times, but it’s better than trying to dip them all in the same batch of melted chocolate. Trust me.

Here are pictures of my latest batch of Kim’s Jingle Balls:

Step 1: Basic boxed cake in 13 x 9 pan

 

Step 2: Frosting mixed thoroughly into cake. Note the sludge-like appearance.

Step 3: Form into balls on a cookie sheet

Step 4: Melt chocolate in microwave

Step 5: Decorate and serve

The Limoncello Project: The Grand Finale

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I want to thank my two buddies who cheerfully and enthusiastically joined me as I blindly bumbled my way through yet another one of my overly ambitious projects. Your friendship is every bit as wonderful as this limoncello, and as you learned today, that is high praise indeed. I had fun working with you and I’m already looking forward to next year’s batch, when we’re older and wiser limoncello makers.

I though this would be the easiest part, but it was actually a lot more challenging than expected. If I was flying solo, this would have been infinitely more difficult, so if you want to embark on this project, I highly suggest recruiting a friend or two.

Two essential things we used today are cheesecloth and a funnel. I initially poured it through a colander and the results were poor. The cheesecloth lining the colander made all the difference. Also, a large pot, a large (recently scrubbed) sink, and a large spouted container were needed. There was a lot of pouring back and forth, a lot of straining, and a lot of stickiness, but in the end, we each walked away with a nice batch of limincello just in time for the holiday season.

Cheers, friends!

See Also: Part One and Part Two