Ask Mom Mom: Loud Talkers

Posted on by
1

Dear Mom Mom,

I have a friend I meet regularly for coffee or lunch.  She is a lovely person but VERY loud.  It is very uncomfortable and awkward to be out in public with her talking so loudly. She doesn’t filter what she says, and will occasionally rant about her husband or talk about personal problems (a difficulty of its own category) in  her huge booming voice.  Recently I was so uncomfortable that I actually said “Shhhh” to her.  I have tried the “Oh, let’s talk about that later” or “Goodness, there are so many people here, let’s talk about this later” but it doesn’t have much effect. 

I don’t want to have to only meet her outdoors where she can’t scare everyone off but I am starting to avoid her invitations.

Thanks,

Wishing for Earplugs

Dear Earplugs,

I see that you have already gently and tactfully tried to help your friend find her inside voice, but to no avail.

I can really relate to this dilemma. I think I had the same friend, except we used to go out as couples to nice restaurants, and we were those loud obnoxious people laughing uproariously or complaining a little too loudly about the service or gossiping about our neighbors. I always felt like we were the grownup equivalent of crying toddlers in an expensive restaurant, and I could feel the daggers coming through the eyes of our fellow diners. I also wondered if the waitstaff didn’t put a little extra something-something in her soup on occasion. But I was so torn, because this woman really was so much fun and (public embarrassment aside) I enjoyed hanging out with her.

We cannot change people, but we can change the venue. I do think this is one of those relationships where the right venue matters. I know you said you don’t want to meet outdoors, but maybe if you could switch your outings to a mall food court or even one of your own houses for coffee or lunch, you might feel more comfortable. Think outside the box in terms of suggesting places where her loudness would not be a disturbance. I have also found that people like that are fun to work out with. Bars are another option.

What you cannot do is tell her point blank that she is too loud and she embarrasses you, even though this is true. Can you say no when she wants to meet at the new quaint little tea shop in town? Yes. Can you suggest a loud place to meet next time? Yes. Can you yourself speak in barely more than a whisper in hope she will follow suit (old toddler trick, by the way)? Yes.  But if you wish to preserve your friendship, and I think you do, you simply cannot tell her she is a loud talker and she embarrasses you in public. Not that you would.

Twenty Years Come and Gone So Fast

Posted on by
4

Twenty years ago, I went on a first date with a handsome engineer who was working on launching the UARS Satellite for GE Aerospace. I was a sales assistant at Janney Montgomery Scott in Philadelphia, working for a blue blooded tyrant while studying for my broker’s license. It was a tough week, and by the closing bell, I was very tired. I distinctly remember telling my coworker that I had a date but I would much rather go home and get in my comfy clothes, read the latest Glamour magazine, and polish my nails. Even back then, I knew how to party. But I would never cancel a first date, so off I went.

Ed picked me up in his black Jeep Wrangler. He was wearing a purple tie. I was wearing a gray printed wrap dress, buff stockings, black suede pumps and pearls. Ask any of my friends, and they will confirm I am terrible with faces. But I am great at remembering clothes! I was glad to be dressed a little on the conservative side, because the restaurant was very fancy and formal…tuxedoed maître d’, candlelight, etc. I ordered a vodka tonic to start.

Our dinner was wonderful and romantic. We ordered wine like proper grownups, and not even white zinfandel like those losers still in college! The food, while very good, wasn’t what I would call innovative or especially remarkable. I probably ordered salmon. Ed said that he liked that I actually ate all my food — a little foreshadowing right there! It was a special dinner because I immediately realized the guy sitting across from me had serious potential. Conversation was easy and comfortable, and we clicked right away. I was glad I didn’t stay home and polish my nails.

Twenty years and three kids later, Ed came home early last night with flowers and told me to put on a dress! He was taking me to the Dilworthtown Inn, the place where we went on our first date. We had been there a few times over the last twenty years, and I was happy to go back. Not deliberately but because it was the only thing in my closet that fit, I put on a gray dress. Not deliberately but because I keep forgetting to pick up our massive dry cleaning order and nothing else was clean, Ed put on a purple checked shirt. He looked even more handsome than on our first date. Damn, men age well.

I ordered a vodka tonic to enjoy while I examined the menu. And what a menu it was! The Dilworthtown Inn has gotten much better with time. Neither stuffy and boring, nor tries-too-hard weird, everything offered was just right. After much deliberation and a little help from our fun and fabulous server, I decided to go with:

Wild Burgundy Escargot
Vanilla Scented and Dark Rum Glazed Roasted Pineapple, Serrano Chili, Sage Brown Butter

Manchego, Baby Spinach, and Arugula Salad
Fried Manchego, Sliced Plums, Serrano Ham, Marcona Almonds, Warm Pancetta Vinaigrette (Ed and I split this, and THANK GOD — it was a meal in itself)

Twin Lobster Tails
Whipped Potatoes, Haricot Vert, Baby Carrots, Drawn Butter

The lobster was delicious, but yes, a little boring. Of course, it was exactly what it claimed to be, and the right choice for someone who likes the classics prepared to perfection. I am always powerless in the presence of lobster and escargot on a menu, because I love them so much and rarely get to have them. Then I get mad at myself for ordering the same thing I always do. What would I get if they were not on the menu? What would you get? Take a look at this wonderful menu and let me know: Dilworthtown Inn Menu

I marvel that the last twenty years went by in the blink of an eye. As Mom Moms everywhere would say, “The days go slowly but the years go quickly.” After twenty years, I am so incredibly blessed to wake up every morning next to someone I love and respect, someone who brings out the best in me and who is always my biggest cheerleader. I can’t wait to see what the next twenty years will bring.

 

Dawn’s Hot-Cha-Cha Sauce

Posted on by
Reply

This year I’ve found myself with an abundance of Scotch Bonnet peppers from my garden. Hot sauce lover that I am, I decided it was time to finally attempt some hot sauce of my own. But first I needed to get over my life-long fear of botulism in order to jar my own homemade hot sauce. A little googling made me feel somewhat confident that I can do this. If not, it was nice knowing ya!

I have a very high tolerance for hot and spicy food (very, very high, perhaps freakishly high), so please heed my warning that this sauce is H O T hot, even for me, and adjust the recipe accordingly. I took all the elements from my favorite bottled sauces and tried to incorporate them into this recipe, and I’m very pleased with the flavor. Well, once I could feel my tongue again, I was pleased with the flavor. I also made this same recipe using jalapenos, and we enjoyed it over fish and rice.

Dawn’s Hot-Cha-Cha Sauce

20 – 30 Habañero or Scotch Bonnet peppers, or hot peppers of your choice

2 cloves garlic, peeled

4 carrots, peeled (note: if you use extra hot peppers, you will NEED all four carrots)

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup white vinegar

2 teaspoons kosher salt

Wearing gloves, cut any stems off of peppers, and add all ingredients in food processor. Pulse until well combined and fairly smooth. Jar or serve and refrigerate after opening.

Ask Mom Mom: The Older Bridesmaid

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Mom Mom, 

I’ve been asked to be in my cousin’s wedding.  She’s getting married for the first time at 45 and is very excited to have the big shebang wedding she always wanted.  I’m happy for her, I hope it’s everything she dreams…but I’m 44 and I do not want to wear a matchy taffeta gown.  I do not want to pony up lord-knows-what for an unattractive, silly dress I’ll never wear again.  Part of me thinks “it’s her dream, help her live it, stop whining” and part of me thinks “pay your bills, decline gracefully, wear a dress you already own.”  What do you think?  Can I get out of it?  If so, how?
Too Old For This

Dear Too Old,

I absolutely understand the pain and shame of those sherbert colored monstrosities called bridesmaid’s gowns, as I have quite a collection of them myself. Most people over the age of 30 look ridiculous in them, even though the bride will tell you otherwise. Don’t believe her. Ugly bridesmaids = Beautiful bride.

But here’s the thing. Assuming this cousin is a special person in your life, you will have to suck it up (and suck it in) and deal. This day is not about you, my dear. Life only gives us a handful of very special days and very special memories that will last until our nursing home stint, and weddings are one of those days. To be a part of someone’s very special day is a great honor and not one we should brush off for the virtue of fiscal responsibility or the sin of vanity.

If money is really, truly an issue, do not hesitate to share this concern with the bride. Tell her you would be honored to be part of her day but can only spend $X on a dress. I know I would not have wanted any of my bridesmaids to suffer a financial hardship in the name of attending my wedding, and the bride will likely tweak her wedding budget a bit to help you purchase the dress. Of course, this is very different than you just not wanting to waste your money, and I would only have such a conversation if a true hardship existed.

On the bright side, think of the amusing pictures and great stories you can share with your friends. And perhaps Mom Mom is old fashioned, but taking part in a day which celebrates love and commitment really is one of life’s great pleasures. You are a special enough person to be included in such an important ceremony, and I hope you can take time to enjoy it.

Ask Mom Mom

Posted on by
Reply

Starting Monday, I will be launching an advice column on Mom Mom’s Apron called “Ask Mom Mom.” Please submit your questions to AskMomMom@gmail.com .

What qualifies me to run an advice column? Absolutely nothing, aside from many years of sharing my unsolicited opinions and wisdom with family and friends. For a know-it-all like me, this is a lifelong dream.

I am that sensible friend with the level head who sees the big picture, and I’m here to lovingly set you straight. No question is too small or too silly. All identities and emails will be kept confidential; please sign your question as you wish to appear in the column (for example, BD, Seattle). I give points for cleverness!

Can we talk about my Vitamix?

Posted on by
15

The last time I made a smoothie, I smelled something burning. My poor cheapy blender, which never served me well even in its heyday, was finally dying. I wound up putting everything in the food processor, then washing two appliances and choking down a lumpy smoothie. So many things wrong with that sentence.

I have toyed with getting the Vitamix for a while, but it is just so much money for a blender. A dear friend with good connections was able to get me one for just under $300, so being the bargain loving gal I am, I found it hard to resist. Before long, I discovered that my fellow Vitamix devotees have a bit of a cultish and slightly Amway vibe to them, to which I say without shame, “Sign me up!” This machine is so amazing that I honestly feel like it will change my life.

I struggle with breakfast and always have. The idea of just dumping a bunch of healthy stuff in a blender and drinking it down is so, so appealing to me. In one fell swoop I can consume a serving of kale, blueberries, flax seeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds, raw walnuts, and coconut milk. The Vitamix handles all of those ingredients beautifully, and I’m instantly left with a cold, purple beverage. Does it taste good? Well, it’s edible. I am still working on tweaking the flavor. But it’s definitely edible! (Can you see now why I never succeeded in sales?)

I have only had my Vitamix for three days, but I can tell you without a doubt, it was money well spent. Highly recommend.

Banana Bread

Posted on by
2

I woke up to these three beauties below, and I decided today was the day to bake some banana bread.

I have made lots of banana bread in my life, and while it was always good enough, it was never really gooooood, as in blog-worthy good. Often times the middle would be mushy, and the extra cooking time required to demushify the middle would make the edges too dry and overcooked.

I decided to turn to my beloved Cook’s Illustrated for help, and Google led me to yet another fabulous food blog, First Look, Then Cook, which reviewed the Cook’s Illustrated recipe and determined it was not as good as her Mom’s, which is posted here. Cook’s Illustrated or Mom, who to choose? Mom, of course! No contest there.

This is my new favorite banana bread recipe: quick, easy, great flavor, great texture. I added chocolate chips and omitted nuts. My whole family loved it, and I’m sure you will, too.

Banana Bread from First Look, Then Cook

Ingredients:

  • 3 very ripe bananas, mashed
  • 2/3 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 2/3 cup sugar
  • 2/3 cup evaporated milk or buttermilk
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 2/3 cups chopped nuts (optional)
  • 1/2 to 3/4 cups chocolate chips (optional)

Directions:

Pre-heat oven to 350.  Mash bananas with a fork and set aside.  Mix oil, sugar, milk, vanilla and eggs well.  Add mashed bananas.  Mix dry ingredients in a small bowl, and add to banana mixture with nuts (optional) until just combined well.  Pour into 2 greased and floured 9 x 5″ loaf pans.  Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.  Remove from pans while still warm and wrap with plastic.

 

 

Giada’s White Bean Dip

Posted on by
11

This bean dip is the classy Italian cousin to hummus, courtesy of the favorite Food Network chef of every straight guy I know, Giada De Laurentiis. Sure, I’ve been known from time to time to refer to her as “That Annoying Giada,” but girlfriend can cook. Is it possible that I’m jealous? No. Maybe.

This recipe was shared with me by my friend Suzanne, and die-hard hummus lover that I am, I originally didn’t see the point of making it. It has similar elements: beans, garlic, lemon, salt…and yet the fresh parsley and cannellini beans give it a unique identity. It is lighter, less dense, and less in-your-face than hummus; a nice companion to summer cocktails. Whenever I find myself with extra parsley that is not long for this world, I whip up a quick batch of Giada’s white bean dip.

Giada’s White Bean Dip

Ingredients

1 (15-ounce) can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed

2 cloves garlic

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1/3 cup olive oil

1/4 cup (loosely packed) fresh Italian parsley leaves

Salt to taste (I use about 1/2 t.)

Freshly ground black pepper

Directions:

Place the beans, garlic, lemon juice, 1/3 cup olive oil, and parsley in the work bowl of a food processor. Pulse until the mixture is coarsely chopped. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Transfer the bean puree to a small bowl.

Artichoke Pepper Feta Pizza

Posted on by
Reply

Pizza is probably my biggest dietary weakness. I have seen friends and family lose impressive amounts of weight by going low carb/no carb, but any diet that does not allow pizza in my life is no diet for me. That could possibly explain a lot! Sorry, I don’t want to live in a world without pizza. What kind of a life is that?

This recipe is an oldie but a goodie. I found it in the mid-1990s in Cooking Light, but unfortunately, I no longer have the original copy, nor can I find it online. You will just have to trust my decrepit memory! This may be slightly different than the original Cooking Light recipe, but I do want to give them credit for the general spirit of this.

Artichoke Feta Pepper Pizza

1 can artichokes, drained
1/4 cup mayo or light mayo
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
2 cloves of garlic, minced
Red and/or orange pepper slices, or several baby peppers, shown above
Crumbled feta (better feta = better pizza)
Sliced black olives (I use kalamata)
Thyme
1 Boboli crust or 4 Naan or other smaller flat bread

In food processor, combine drained artichokes, mayo, red pepper flakes and garlic until smooth and spreadable.

Slice pepper into strips and saute in 1 t. olive olive and 1 clove minced garlic until softened, about five minutes.

Spread artichoke mixture on Boboli, then top with peppers, feta and olives. Sprinkle a little thyme on top.

Bake at 450 for about 10 minutes, directly on rack. Enjoy!

This is what it looks like before it goes in the oven. Since today is a busy day, I prepped it ahead of time, and I’ll just heat it up right before dinner. Serve with a side salad and feel almost healthy.

 

 

Just Keep Swimming Smoothy

Posted on by
Reply

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. Dory, Finding Nemo

For a very long time, I have loved swimming, despite not being an especially good or graceful swimmer. I just like it, plain and simple. I like how I feel weightless, almost like flying. I like how my body feels afterwords, both tired and relaxed at the same time. I like how it’s the only place where my million-thoughts-a-minute brain is not thinking or worrying about anything other than staying afloat and not hitting the person next to me. It’s as close to meditation as I’ll probably ever come.

The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.  John “The Penguin” Bingham, runner and writer

Swimming, for me at this age, comes with lots of barriers. When it comes to excuses, I am an Olympic athlete. I could write a whole post dedicated to my excuses, but instead I’ll just say this: ugly and unflattering Speedo bathing suit, expensive hair + chlorine = green hair, extra large head stuffed in a swim cap, painful goggles, looking like a fat, clumsy fool in public, and, uh, personal grooming. You want more? Oh, I’ve got more.

Recently I cast all my excuses aside and jumped back in the pool after a twenty year hiatus. All of those silly things that mattered so much to me mean nothing once I’m in the pool. It has truly been one of the best things I have done for myself, and my only regret is that I didn’t start sooner.

True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be. Dr. Wayne Dyer

I can never eat too much before a workout, but watch out after! Today I made a very unwise food choice for my post-swimming meal, so I decided to concoct something healthy and filling for tomorrow’s breakfast: a green smoothie! I have been on and off the smoothie train over the years, and I feel like the time is right to introduce them back into my world. Who knows what other good things will follow? In the meantime, I will just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

Just Keep Swimming Smoothy

Serves 2

2 cups plain Greek Yogurt

1 cup frozen blueberries

1 cup uncooked spinach

1 pitted peach

1 teaspoon real vanilla

1 Tablespoon real maple syrup

Milk (optional)

Combine all in blender until smooth. Add milk to thin it out if desired.